


Layers to my sanity

by millia892



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Neglect, Depression, Drug Use, Family, Light Angst, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Swearing, students are 16
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-21 17:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14289993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millia892/pseuds/millia892
Summary: Asano lives a life of neglect from the man he once loved the most , his father. Though he doesn't mind, instead adapting to it, choosing to view it as nothing but how life for a child his age should be. However when Gakuhou tells him to go to E-class after allowing one mistake his darkness turns a shade darker, seeping out bandages on his soul for all to see.An unassuming karma is surprised as he is greeted by Asano's face on a particularily ordinary Tuesday morning unbenowest to what is to come. How will Karma react as the ass hole sitting next to him finally shows his true colours?// there will be a change in POV between karma and asano but it will be Asano centric. ( with maybe a bit of irina x karasuma cause they are so cute!!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you guys, thanks for clicking. This is my first fanfic for AO3 but I have done things like this before so it shouldn't be a disaster. I would really like to improve my English and writing skills so if u want to comment down below anything I did wrong please do .
> 
> Just as an FYI I will absolutely try to upload at least twice a week but I sincerely apologize if I don't and the time in my fanfic is probably not going to be very realistic but I will try. And finally I will have swearing but if it makes you uncomfortable tell me and I won't use as many.
> 
> Please enjoy my story! ^-^

Prologue

I knew it was only temporary but at the moment I just didn't care.

I dragged a breath of death deeper into my body and shoving out what remained.

A dark cloud blurred my already hazy vision as my dead eyes rose to make eye contact with perfect stars littering the abyss looming over me. 

As an unnerving, almost maddening, peace finally overtook me, I looked up to the heavens and begged for forgiveness. Straining my muscles to help me get up, I padded across my roof and swung through the open window that led to my room.  
The untouched bed - that sat surrounded by neat piles of higher level text books - stared back at me, taunting me and telling me just how fucked up I was but now wasn't the time for that. I'd deal with it later.  
I carried on to my bathroom to clean myself up and get ready for school.  
Just another day as Asano Gakushuu.

-  
It took a while but I finally made it down on schedule to have breakfast with my father.

Silence clung to the air as we drank our coffee, as suffocated as I felt from my father's looming presence.

Even the birds stilled outside the window, terrified.

Not once glancing up from the black and white print clutched firmly in his hands, the intimidating man got up and left leaving: two cubes of sugar he never used; 200ml of milk he never drank; and me, the son he never needed nor wanted. But it was fine, I didn't really mind, we were just regular people going about our lives . At least he doesn't feel the need to put up a front for me.

\- 

Walking to school usually managed to bring me solace. Looking around me I smiled.  
The scenic route I took everyday next to the railway tracks was deemed too dangerous to use by most parents, though it never failed to change with everyday; surprising me with new art on backs of houses, or new flowers blooming through the bars that lay in-between me and the scheduled trains bounding past every 12 minutes. 

This place engulfed me so i was a part of it and I loved it.  
The magical land seemed to exude a feeling that seemed to warm me to the very core, reaching a place in my dark mind that no one ever really could.

With a regretful sigh i put on my beautifully perfect mask and the warmth that once surrounded me was gone.

I had finally arrived to school.


	2. The end and the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asano is moved to E class and they are SHOOK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will probably get updated a lot as this is the only saved copy I have but I hope you enjoy whatever version you read.

The pristine halls echoed as the second pair of shoes that day clicked towards the principles office.

Asano remembered the look on his father's face as he flew into a wall after hitting him. It was a look of pure disbelief and horror to what had happened ( yhhhhh so I moved the part where gakuhou hits Asano to when E class beats them at the bet at the beginning) .

Any sign that the principle even remembered that it had happened was no where to be found. He didn't so much as twitch upon seeing the the darkening wound on my face.

Today I decided against trying to hide it with makeup because then maybe he would just show some sort of emotion towards me.

On arrival I hesitated. It was yesterday as he drove me home after the incident that the principle had told me to come to his office much before school. So now here I am.

I never knew what would happen when I walked through these doors. Last time my face was stained with the blood of the foreigners that had come for the disgraceful pole topple tournament ( yes the order of events a bit off but meh ) . The day still haunts me with visions of my father colouring the room red.

Taking a deep breath I turned the handle and stepped in.  
-

It was his eyes. No one could escape once he sets his soulless eyes on you. With one look they tear through you prying out all your darkest secrets. 

It's disgusting.

With a smile on his face the principle destroyed my life.

"Asano, as you very well know allowing yourself to be defeated by anyone let alone E-class misfits is absolutely unacceptable and a disgrace. " 

I couldn't bring myself to try and talk, his stare had shoved any words I would have used back down my throat.

"Since you were defeated by such filth must only mean you are below them. If I could I would send you to a class below them but that's illogical. So, I'm going to send you to class 3-E instead."

I felt cold. So cold. I wanted to do so many things / feel so many things so I decided to just do nothing. 

There's nothing I can do but more importantly there's nothing I should do. This is the product of my incompetence.

No words could describe how I felt. 

I was an empty body simply just being.

The ultimate barrier to life really was to simply just kill yourself. 

"As such," the principle continued, " You will finally learn the secret you had wanted to know. However, if you do try and use it against ms like you so wished to or reveal is to anyone itll be viewed as a crime and you shall be taken to court so do try and avoid it if you can." 

"So the government is involved" I muttered mostly to myself.

A knock interrupted my thoughts.

"Ah what perfect timing" the principle said, though it was obvious he had planned it all, " Do come in."

As two people sent by the government came in I kept my head down only looking up when addressed by a man with black hair and musky voice.

"Asano Gakushuu, I assume. I'm sorry but you'll have to come with us. If you divulge anything were about to tell you it is a crime so I do not recommend it."

-

Leaves crunched underfoot as I stumbled up the mountain. Disbelief still had a firm grasp on my mind. Anyone who expected me to believe that a yellow octopus is currently a teach in such an illustrious institution would have to be high. I have become an assassin. This'll be interesting.

The mysterious man was currently escorting me to E-class. At least I will have arrived on time for first period.

Warm sunlight caressed my face as a cool breeze tussled my hair. As much as I hated to admit it this walk was very soothing and had calmed my throbbing headache.

I released a depressed sigh, taking a couple deep breaths to bring me back to a state of equilibrium.

I could feel karasuma sensei's eyes on me as I did so but smartly decided against on questioning it.

All to soon the ground became flat and I came face to face with the rundown building at the centre of this whole ordeal.

"We've arrived. Welcome to E-class."

-

A lady with blonde hair and big eyes stared at me with a mild curiosity while leaning against a wooden beam near the entrance, her huge bust resting on crossed arms. A seductive smile crossed her lips laced with bloodlust. This was the other teacher Karasuma sensei told me about.

Irina Jelavic. A professional assassin.

Floor boards creaked as we made our way to the classroom. 

Noise could be heard all the way there.

With a light push on the sliding door I stood face to face with E-class and a giant yellow octopus at the head. 

I honestly couldn't tell you which was worse.


	3. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Asano decided to change his ways but will that be all it'll take for E class to forgive and forget the hell he and his father has put him through. And enter karma!

A plethora of shocked voices erupted in the classroom as Asano stepped through. 

"I'm sorry koro sensei but how can Asano be of any use to us. His head is stuck up so far his ass he probably wouldn't be able to see where to aim the gun". It was Nakamura Rio who had said that, she had ranked first in English.

" Language young lady and no matter what has happened before Asano is now my student and a fellow classmate so you are to treat him as such," the yellow blob firmly said.

"Now, Asano welcome to E-class. Please feel free to ask me anything. There's a free spot next to karma for you to sit at."

This is a joke. It had to be. Disdain emanated off me as I made my way towards Satan.

"Shuu its lovely to see you here!" An irritating voice yelled. " I'm sure we'll get along just fine." 

A sadistic smile etched it's way onto Karmas face.

-

Koro sensei started the class as I sat. As his back turned karma moved his lips to my ear, his breath tickling it.

"So daddy dearest sent you to join the "dirt" that beat you, it must have hurt more than that bruise on your perfect face," .

Although I did agree karmas mocking voice was tickling a beast inside of me.

Turning my face to where our noses almost touched I let out some of my frustrations.

"Akabane, as I'm sure your well aware, your undeniable failure puts you in no position to even speak to someone like me so shut up and listen to Koro sensei, right now, you need all the help you can get."

We stayed staring into each other's eyes for a while longer.

-

Before long class had ended for lunch. Discreetly getting up, I took my phone and headphones so I could find somewhere to be alone.

When was this day gonna end.

After a short walk I found a comfortable spot on a tree branch that overlooked everything. It was absolutely breath taking.

Sitting up straight with my legs neatly resting straight on front of me, relaxing into the music playing in my ears.

-Karma's POV- 

How interesting, my impossibly average day has suddenly become most enjoyable.

All it took was him.

This disgust on his face was hilarious as he strode into our classroom. Oh and when he turned to me, it became a challenge to hold back my laughter.

His face became demonic when he realised it was me he'd sit next to. It was adorable how Shuu reacted to me.

I would have been happier to see him if it hadn't been for the bruise lurking under his left eye. I really couldn't help but to comment on it though I didn't mean to be such a dick about it.

If i hadn't known any better I would have thought Shuu already was an assassin from how he slipped out as soon as the bell rang. But no matter, getting in a quick nap was far more important.

As my tree came in sight my eyes widened with shock to see none other than Shuu in my spot. To be honest he looked just like a doll in that stiff position. How sad.

Sad.

Why would he be sad. 

Now that I think about it he has plenty to feel sad about.

What would happen if the class did forgive Shuu. From out the corner of my eye I saw the muscles in his face relax revealing a boy I had never seen before. 

From the bags under his eyes paired with his unnaturally pale complexion i saw right through his façade. This was definitely more than just mere sleep deprivation but it's better for everyone to poke a sleeping bear - however that is what I do best.

I guess I'll just have to wait till he wakes. Waking him up now would just spoil the fun if he's already in a bad mood.

So put my own pair of headphones in and waited.

-Asano POV-

The seductive words being sung into my ear danced with the steady beat of my heart. Tuning back in to reality i took in my surroundings till my eyes landed on karma.

My breath caught in my throat slowly comprehending who was on a branch next to me.

As if sensing my gaze karmas eyes opened to stare into mine.

We both sat there looking into the others eyes, finding solace in the others presence.

I opened my mouth then shut it unwilling to break the moment.

"Yes Shuu," Karma asked softly.

" Why did you stay with me, if your not careful I'll start go think you might actually like me," I replied with a slight smile on my face.

"Oh darling don't you already know? I adore you," Karma joked showing of his glistening teeth as he beamed. 

"We should head back to class, I'm pretty sure breaks almost over," 

"You go , I'm gonna stay a while longer, but before you go, you seem awfully pale and those designer bags under your eyes have really caught my eye. I'm sure sleep isn't the issue," karma balanced his whole body as he lay his whole body on the branch, imitating the Cheshire cat. "Shuu have you been naughty?" 

My jaw set and glare hardened, deciding to not dignify him with a response. I need to get back to class.


	4. Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someones voice echoes in Asanos mind tearing apart his sanity, spurring him into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo, this chapter could be triggering to some people but Asano is a fucking bad ass at the end so please enjoy ^-^

As I walked back to class I passed everyone walking back together in obvious groups, happily chatting with each other, constantly throwing their heads back with laughter. Envy clouded my vision slowly – I felt a light tap.

“Hey Asano, I’m Nagisa Shiota. Welcome to E-Class,” the blue haired boy hummed grinning all the while, “I’ve been taking down all my observations on Koro sensei and thought that it would be best if you had this information. You are part of our class now, so it’ll be more fun taking Koro sensei down with us if you had equal knowledge.”

Stunned into silence, I patiently listened to what he, or she I’m not quite certain yet, had to say about Koro sensei (lol i just rhymed). Even though some details were kind of unnecessary they helped significantly with what the planning i had been meaning to put into action all day.

-

Shortly after I got back ,class started again; no one even bothered to ask where Karma was, obviously used to his atrocious habits.

Looking out the window I could see the crescent moon, a ghost in the sky, hiding behind distant clouds.

"Why don’t you join them,” a male voice whispered into my ear, “you do know they say forgotten souls become clouds in the sky, left to wonder for the rest of eternity.”

My eye twitched.

Slowly i turned back to Koro Sensei.

“Look at those lovely clouds. Look at them Asano. Look. Look! Asano! I told you to look at the clouds! You disgusting brat, listen to me when I’m speaking!” 

The male voice got louder in my head.

“You’re a failure!” he screeched consumed with rage.

“Take away your sins, boy,” another familiar male tone demanded, more poised and stern,” cleanse yourself of your immorality and bathe in pools of your blood. Your lack of competence must be punished”

His eyes were staring back at me. Not once blinking. Not once moving. Just staring. The eyes of a killer. His face grew paler, sharper. Similar to a mask; perfectly controlled in order to have a particular effect on me. 

Tension in my body like the stinging nettles thriving in the forest surrounding the classroom - spreading relentlessly. It became hard to breath as if my chest had been bound by ropes.

“Asano.” It was Koro sensei. Struggling to compose myself I painted on a smug smile, assuming my normal posture radiating the arrogance I was supposed to.

“Yes sir,” I steadily replied, getting as close to breathing as possible.

“You seem to be rather silent at the back of the class for your first day. Is there anything you need help with?”

“ I can assure you, Koro sensei , that I am in no need of the help something like you could and find it rude that you’d even ask. I am perfectly fine,” my distaste towards him evident in my voice evident .

Fuck, what id do for a smoke. 

-

The day was almost ended and my need to kill something had accumulated in the pitt of my stomach, making hungry for blood.

Pulling out a special pen i had worked on after talking to nagisa, I spun round my hand, getting used to its feel, calculating the chances of my plan. After spinning it one last time I flicked to the front of the class next to the teacher’s desk. Just as I though Koro sensei had caught it in mid-air. Tried to at least.

Yellow goo splashed everywhere, the remnants of sensei’s tentacle. it was almost laughable how a trick like sticking cut up strips of anti sensei material on my pen would work and throwing it would work. 

Without hesitation I was up, loading my riffle and unleashing hell on Koro sensei, bloodlust oozing out of me , staining the air black.

In mere seconds pools of yellow surrounded Koro sensei, a bit of it running down my face due to the steps I had taken while decapitating three of his tentacles. 

The corner of my mouth twitched into my cheek as I drew near koro sensei. I was so close to him I could smell his fear.  
“I have a feeling that this is going to be a very fun year, don’t you think so too, Koro sensei. “ 

The classroom shook as the door slammed shut behind Asano as he stalked out the classroom as intimidating and confident as ever.

The splintering of glass could be heard echoing throughout the classroom overpowering E-classes deafening silence.

-


	5. Our moonlit alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asano is crumbling under the stress that came with his long and hard day, trying to escape, only to be confronted by one of his least favorite people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, its been a while since i last uploaded but with all the work that comes with going back to school i havent been able to manage my time well enough but im trying ^-^. I hope hope you enjoy my chapter!

The word sad sounds childish. Simple. The mistake your primary teacher would tell you to replace, lacking the obvious sophistication of a 12-year-old. Sad. Why did it fit me so perfectly? Why does it describe the harrowing despair consuming me so well? In a way i knew the despair i felt would only be temporary (like everything else in my life) but it was so close to choking all that hope out of my heart, that pain felt permanent. 

I was never the type to feel the sort of sadness that exploded, tearing a cascade of tears out my eyes, but rather felt the type of sorrow that seeped into you bones, corrupting you inside out, leaving me as foggy as the smoke that swirled in my lungs. Though, what truly scared me was that at one time I am a somebody. Somebody in pain. Somebody crumbling under a burden forced onto. And at others, I become a nobody. Unable to feel. I didn't seem to exist at all.

-

Kunugigaoka Junior High School could finally be seen through the trees. Shifting my eyes side to side I quickly escaped down a side alley before the main campus students could catch a glimpse of me. I wouldn’t be able to handle the mocking snickers of people that I once called my underlings. Not yet.

After a few turns I started to recognise where I was headed. Searching through the pockets of my blazer I found just enough change for my regular. After a few more turns I had arrived at 'The Split Bean'. 

A bell chimed as I stepped in, alerting the grinning lady behind the counter that she had a customer. A familiar smell of strong coffee lingered in the air.

"Hey kid, I haven’t seen you in ages! " the barista asked obviously high from the ridiculously strong coffees she treats herself to everyday. 

That was Lexi. She had been minding the coffee shop late one night when I walked in, obviously, fucked up from something or rather that I’d smoked. I knew she was only in it for the money that came with my name, though, I never minded.

I chuckled softly at her remark, "Yeah I’ve had quite an eventful week. My regular?"

"Already started kid. Why don’t ya go sit down and i'll bring it to you," she beamed, florescent pink hair swishing as she bounced around behind the counter. This place wasn’t huge or fancy and expensive but it made me feel welcome. The walls were painted charcoal black with neon signs decorating it. Vintage sofas and chairs were scattered around, little minion and unicorn teddies perching on table surfaces and random containers. The worn wooden floor boards groaning from my weight.  
"Thanks Lex, I appreciate it."

The air was thick with the scent of coffee as a vanilla like aroma wafted over me accentuating the mellow taste of coffee that graced my tongue and smoothly slid down my throat. Blood rose to my cheeks and the tips of my fingers started to tingle from the heat that was now coursing through my veins. I set down the steaming mug of goodness releasing a deep, content sigh. Turning my gaze out the window, I watched the world pass by still processing what had happened only a few hours ago. Sheesh this day was taking its sweat time before ending.

Karma Akabane. A thorn in my side, though if I pulled him out I’m sure I would bleed to death. It was torture to even think about but Akabane was the reason I still had passion, he lit a fire underneath every time we met. To be honest I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the extra sprinkle -nope- dollop of spice in my life.

“Asano, what a lovely surprise.” 

Ugh, speaking of the devil. It’s like every time I get a moment to myself he could made a point of turning up just to annoy the hell outta me. Plastering on an award-winning smile, I reluctantly turned to face none other than Karma Akabane. Fuck. My. Life. :)

“Akabane, what are you doing here, with all the work you should be doing to catch up to me I would have thought that you would have no time on your hands,” I answered with false glee.

“Tut tut Asano,“ he said wagging a finger in my face, his usual lazy gin widening,” have you already forgotten that it was I who beat you first. We’re even now. Even more so than ever seeing as your now in E-class.”

My face darkened at the reminder. “Not even being in E-class could put me on the same level as trash like you who doesn’t even bother to show up half the time. You might as well not even come at all.”

Taking a seat opposite me, Akabane continued this childish conversation, swinging on his chair like a kid, “Oh my little Shuu, you’ve got it backwards, the mere fact that I don’t need to be in school and can still beat you simply proves the fact that I’m far superior.”

“Maybe I would actually take you seriously if you proved it. Frankly I’m surprised we even made it this far in this conversation without you short circuiting from thinking so hard.”

Leaning over the table, his hand next to my coffee and smirking face in front of mine, Akabane seductively replied ,”we can arrange a few more surprises.”

After a slight hesitation I slammed my hand over his face and pushed him back into his seat; lowering my head with a distressed huff so he couldn’t see how red I was, fuming that he had the audacity to do this to me.

“Baka. Just shut up and let me drink my coffee.”

I swear if I looked up at that moment I would’ve seen a rare look on Akabanes face. Not one laced with malice but something else entirely.

-

It was pretty-late at night by the time me and Karma had left. We both lied in the same area since both our parents liked to live in luxury. I knew I probably shouldn’t but I wouldn’t be able to stomach being at home if I didn’t. Without saying a word, I tugged Karma by his sleeve down the path I took every morning. His quiet awed gasp resounded in my ears. This place really was breath taking.

It may have been too late to be out, too late to be wondering the streets but at that moment we didn’t mind. The last of the trains could be heard stopping in the station. Though the moon struggled through the thick grey clouds it’s pale glow still illuminated the path . Rough graffiti art displayed on the backs of houses lit up, forcing you to look at the beautiful threatening words surrounded by snippets of detailed art. It was a totally different place than it was in the morning, like it disappeared behind the blinding gaze of the sun, coaxed back out by moons soft gaze.

Looking down I saw I still had a firm grasp on Kar-Akabane’s sleeve, blushing I quickly let go, looking away. Shit, that’s embarrassing, I got so caught up in my own thoughts I totally forgot I had any company. If only Akabane would always be this silent.

As we made it out of the moonlit path we were pulled back to reality. With a silent but firm “thanks” from Akabane, we both turned our separate ways home.

-

Lying on my roof back at home I twirled an unlit cigarette in my hand. Without deciding what to do with it, my eyes had slid shut allowing me the first naturally induced, peaceful sleep I’ve had in a while.


End file.
